#sneakpeek Feldsharp – Who is Paul?

Feldsharp rolled the hops flower in his palm.  He then put his hands together and rolled the bloom between his hands and essentially destroyed the bloom.  He tossed the remains at the base of the vine then put his hands over his face and inhaled the bitter sweetness of the residue.

“Why is it I can always find you here?”  Heart asked as she approached.

“This is what I know and what makes me comfortable.”  He stated.

“They are just plants.”  She said.

“As much as you are just a person.”

She shook her head.  “I am not even a real person.  Just a likeness of someone.  I don’t even have a name.”

“Yes.”  He stated.  “You do, you are Heart.”

She knelt down and examined some bugs moving through the soil at the base of the plant.  “That is just what you call me.  Next person I meet will likely call me something else.”

“Unless you tell them to call you Heart.”

“You don’t understand!”  She poked at a small black beetle.

“I pissed there.”  He warned.

She stood up swiftly.  “You could give a girl some warning.”

“I just did.”

“I cannot go around telling people I am called Heart.”  She wiped her hand off on her leg.  “That would mean I have a name.”

“Exactly!”  Feldsharp

“No!”  She snapped.  “I cannot have a name!  Then I would not have a purpose.”

Feldsharp stepped over to the chair he had brought out into the garden.  He gingerly lowered himself into it.  “How could having a name make you lose your purpose?”

“You really don’t understand.”

“Then explain it to me.  What is your purpose?”  He asked of her.

“My purpose is to live an exciting life so that when Mother needs a new body she might choose me to merge with.”  She rattled this off without hesitation as if from rote.

“Does not sound like a great purpose.  You would cease being you.”  He rolled his head around trying to work the stiffness out.  The stretching strained the stitches in his shoulder and the wound warned him with a spike of pain.

“You see I am not really even me to begin with.  I am a body hoping to become Mother.”

He shook his head.  “And in the meantime you cannot have a name?”

She nodded.  “If I have a name that means I have an individual identity that could threaten Mother when we merge.  If we have an identity then that identity could threaten Mother so she does not want to merge with anyone with a name.  So if I have a name, I do not have a purpose.”

He rubbed at his shoulder to try to assuage the pain.  “Why not just live for you?”

She pointed at her head.  “I have an implant in here.  If I do not follow my purpose then Mother activates the implant and I will die.”

“How would she know if you are so far away?”  He leaned to let the sun play down across his body and warm him.

“The implant has a timer in it.  If I do not report back in two years’ time then it will activate on its own.”

“Can you remove it?”

She shook her head.  “I will live towards my purpose and I have to say that travelling with you has definitely made my life exciting.”

Feldsharp chuckled and then held his side in pain.

Heart rushed to his aid and lifted his shirt.  “You are bleeding on your side.  You are pushing yourself too hard.”

Feldsharp shook his head.  “No, I need to get on my feet again so Brother Hitomi can tell me where to find Paul.”

“You are still on about that?”  She admonished.

“It is my purpose in life now.  You have yours, I have mine.”

“But why?”  She tugged the blood-covered bandage loose from his side.

“I want to know about my people, how we came to be.”  He explained.  “Paul has been around since early times.  He would know.”

“We need to get you inside.  I am going to have to re-stitch this, but first I need to go back in and figure out where you are bleeding from.”  She helped him up to his feet.  “How is it that he has survived so long?  Sounds like just a myth.”

“He is one of the original Nephilim.”  Feldsharp grunted as he gained his feet.  “They are the fallen angels of God.”

“I know the story.  I can recite the related bible verses if you like.”  Heart looked up at him.  “You keep getting taller.”

“Well it is said that they are the forefathers of the giants and have lives longer than history.”

Closed her eyes and shook her head.  “It still sounds like legend or myth to me.”

“So if I find out where he is you are not coming with me?”  They had made it almost out of the garden and Feldsharp turned to face Heart.  “I don’t know if I can make it without you.”

“Are you kidding?”  She smirked.  “You are the biggest adventure any Daughter has been on in quite some time.  Every step is some new challenge.  If I tell Mother of what we have done she is sure to choose me!”

Feldsharp shook his head and continued on his way and grunted with each time his right foot hit the ground.  “All you are getting out of this is a story to tell Mother?”

“For me, what else is there?”

“What about just to help me?”  He suggested.

She frowned.  “No.  Pretty much Dee and I saw the potential of adventure with you from the very beginning.”  She stopped walking and stared off in the distance.

Feldsharp noticed her far off stare and stopped next to her.  “When you tell Mother your story, make sure you tell Dee’s story too.”

Heart gave him a tight-lipped smile, wiped a tear off her cheek with the back of her arm then reached for his hand.  Her hand disappeared in his oversized meaty palm.  They continued into the temple holding hands.

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